In a world increasingly insulated from true physical hardship, we go searching for struggle. We lace up our shoes, we train for the brutal miles, and we aim for a goal—a race like the UTS 100, “Savage beyond Reason,” that terrifies us but whose result, we believe, is in our hands.

But what happens when the result is disappointment? What happens when you come face-to-face with the mountain, put in the struggle, the pain, the sacrifice, and still end up with a DNF, a crippling injury, or simply a failure to meet your goal? The emotional weight is immense. It’s a gut-punch that makes you question why you push yourself so far.

The question is, how do we move from that initial despair back to the start line?

The Struggle Within the Recovery

When we talk about ultra-running, we define the real struggle not as the race itself, but as the relentless, consistent training that gets you to the start line—the 10 to 20 hours a week, the sacrifices of family time, and overcoming the voice of procrastination.

The recovery from a disappointment is no different. It is an internal struggle that requires the same persistence and commitment:

• The Struggle of Sitting Still: When the body is broken or the mind is reeling from a failure, the hardest thing for an athlete is to pause. The disappointment tempts us to rush back, but true recovery requires us to embrace the necessary period of rest and reflection. This is a mental battle against impatience.
• The Struggle for Perspective: A single DNF or a missed objective doesn’t negate the months of consistency and growth that led up to it. Disappointment shrinks the focus to the failure; recovery means broadening the lens to see the entire journey. The mental persistence to acknowledge the setback without letting it define you is the new training session.
• The Struggle to Recommit: The pain of failure is a powerful motivator to stop. The true struggle in recovery is finding the motivation to start over—not just the physical training, but the mental work of setting a new, terrifying goal and believing the result is once again in your hands.

Building a Stronger Foundation

Disappointments, like brutal training runs, are the things that tear us down so we can rebuild a stronger version of ourselves.

You will get setbacks, huge disappointments, and injuries, but the mentality to just keep going is the quality that ultra-running forges. Don’t let the temporary pain of a disappointment lure you into a comfortable, sedentary alternative. Embrace the pain, embrace the struggle, and start laying the groundwork for the next, inevitable, extraordinary challenge.

The path back to the starting line is the most important journey of all.

I made the decision on 2023 but decided to do a 2 day refresher first to check my navigation and steep ground work was Ok. Then this year (2025) I did the 5 day assessment in Eyri (Snowdonia). I was a great 5 days, one day one we focused on Micro Navigation, one day 2 we covered the steep ground work and then we had the 3 day expedition where we put it all together.

We spent the 3 days around the Cnicht area, with 2 wild camps. We had some sunny weather on the first day then it was heavy rain, strong winds and low cloud.

The expedition was great fun, although looking back this was probably type 2 fun with the weather being so bad. On the night navigation I remember being within 5 feet of a black shape hoping it was the lake I was looking for and not a cliff dropping into the thick fog and rain.

We finished with some river crossings which was ok, and as we were so wet from 3 days on the mountains it meant we were already soaked through so didn’t get any wetter in the river.

I don’t intend to be a full time mountain leader so you may ask why should I go through this process, the first answer is, I love the mountain and enjoy learning the skills. The mountains have also brought me so much enjoyment over the years, I would love to introduce other people into the mountains in a safe and informative way.

I look forward to learning more mountain skills, perhaps the Winter ML could be next…..